Tug Of WAR!!!!

my whole life i've felt like im just a little slower than others. at 22 i think i might know what i want to do with the rest of my life--maybe. my senior year of college and my friends will soon be graduating and i will still be left here trying to figure out direction in life. i cannot say that i've learned nothing, i definitely have(through a lot of hard lessons) but im still behind the rest of the population is seems. i want so many things but focusing and putting my full dedication into something never really works; i lose interest so fast. with this realization, i've comes the understanding that my love life will also be affected. boys and love are the most interesting things to me but i DONT understand them. even those that dont like to "play the game" still wind-up playing. So now im left behind the rest of the class sort of speak, and with no rules or guidelines to help me finish successfully. what to do? why is love so hard, yet so easy? its like a tug of war except im the rope and im being pulled by life and decisions on one side and confusion and love on the other.

My Photos:)

So here they are my Photos. of course i have more and i do plan on loading some more some time soon but since this semester has been hard its be super hard to find time to edit and work on pictures for my own collection but these are a few of the ones i've worked on or turned into class.

The world seen through a Viewfinder

Its been almost a month since i started taking pictures. i've posed scenes or ive taken from what i see in nature that God has provided. Now the whole world is a picture and i constantly go around taking pictures and recording it in my mind. i set the focus, i.e. with my eyes and then i take the picture, lol by blinking. its funny how you can go your whole life looking at life one way and then it changes sometimes suddenly or sometimes gradually. i feel that i have been forever changed and all it took was looking at the world through a viewfinder.

The beautiful story of danny and annie!

so i found this video on a blog i follow and although people actually read hers and i only have one follower i still wanted to post this video for by any chance someone landed on my blog can watch this beautiful story.



http://vimeo.com/12562270

BUTTERfly Effect

BUTTERfly Effect
On Friday afternoon as i sat in class i heard a fluttering behind me, i turned to find a butterfly landing on the window pane. the blinds were drawn and the butterflies wings were dry and Deteriorate at the ends. In a dark room the struggling butterfly found the little bit of light coming from underneath the blinds. as i watched the butterfly struggle to find the light and possibly some form of salvation i noticed its desperation in the flapping of its wings. i waited until it calmed to a slow pace before reaching to open the blinds. when i opened enough of a space for it to at less see the sun light i looked to find the butterfly had lost its battle and died. i sat for a while thinking of the event that had just unfolded; the butterfly who was in the dark and shattered found its way to the light only to find it couldnt fully reach the sun; by the time i went to help it, it died. it made me think about life and how we sometimes find ourselves in the dark and after we've been battered and broken we go looking for the light only to sometimes be so close but so far away, and when when help finally comes it might already be to late. the small life of a butterfly made me remember that i should always strive to stay in the light and not be lost among the darkness; for in darkness we find no rest or restoration.
a moral lesson taught in my ethics class not by the professor but by the struggles of a helpless butterfly.

so im excited a new day and it feels like a better me....... so im going to be taking a photography class and i want to post pictures on my process. ahhhh cant wait.

ill be posting some photos my bff let me take on her camera and edit on her computer, lol i hope you like.
-CdM

unknown

do you ever feel like everyone in the world fits a certain mold and the mold used at your creation was completely different. i'm the type of person has has to grow on people, a friendship never comes easy or natural to me. sometimes i wish i was so different; sometimes i wish i was different and more the same.

as i start a new year i reflect on years past; i look at already committed mistakes and wonder if i've truly grown or have people just learn to expect my ways. all i can do for the new year is hope i can continue to pave out a way for myself and always learn to expect who i am without needing the reassurance of others.